To Realize
by Jess Angel
Summary: Sequel to In the Shadows. Heero has an epiphany.


**To Realize**  
by Jess Angel 

There he stood, outside, in front of a door. The door that held the person who taught him what living truly meant. He'd said once that life was cheap, especially his. It was cheap in a way; so many lives had been lost during the war, so many he'd taken himself. But it was also priceless, precious, and was something to be valued greatly. She'd shown him that. 

She'd shown him countless things since that night - the night he had resolved to kill her. It had been eight months since that day. Eight months in which she became his confidant, listener, and slowly but surely, his friend. Sure he'd admired and respected her before, but she had become something he thought no one besides his fellow Gundam pilots could ever be: a true friend. 

Behind that door, somewhere in that house had been the girl he had been sworn to kill. Yet he had also sworn to protect her. And now inside that house was a young woman that God must've put in his existence to give hope to the life he had almost lost. His life that had little by little slipped away along with his soul during his upbringing with Odin Lowe and his grueling training under Dr. J that had birthed the Perfect Soldier. They'd been finally buried so far under that even he thought he was hopelessly lost. 

He had been a shell of a person, just a machine. His only purpose in life was to be a soldier and to accomplish the mission… or so he thought. She'd proved him wrong and told him there was so much he was living for. He was living to protect her, the people, to maintain peace and so many other things she said. She also said that he should start living a life all his own, consider getting a normal job, or finish school and make new friends. 

But he didn't want to have a life without her in it. It was his job and duty to protect her. If he left, who would ensure her safety? The only people he would have allowed were the other four Gundam pilots but they were busy with getting their own lives on track. He didn't care to go back to school either. And besides, what jobs were there for an ex-Perfect Soldier? Could he really just have a "normal" job? Did he even want one? 

And new friends? He had friends already. And he had her… She was his friend…. 

Through their close forming friendship they had both revealed to each other their painful pasts. He had never thought that her life would have held anything but happiness. Instead, her young childhood had a heartbreaking secret. Before becoming Vice Foreign Minister, before becoming Queen of the World, and before being a Dorlian, a part of her own self had been buried as well: the little child named Relena Peacecraft. 

And it always seemed to him that they were completely different. He had never recognized how alike they were. He had done some research on the Sanq Kingdom but never knew about the extent of her personal experience. For her to be exposed to death and violence at such a young age and to witness the murder of her own parents, it was another way they were similar. He had confessed his own acquaintance with death as a young child when he had been taken under an assassin's wing. Then he recounted to her the dehumanizing effect of the training he received to become the Perfect Soldier. He'd wanted to spare her the gruesome details but she'd wanted nothing to be kept from her knowledge. 

He remembered how she cried. 

Her sobs were gentle but so heartfelt. Her head bowed slightly and her face looked like porcelain where tears of crystal traced along her ivory skin. He had asked her why she was crying and she said for him. For him… It seemed to echo in his head. He had begun to feel guilty that he had made such a vision cry but then he understood. She wasn't crying because of him it was like she said, for him. 

That was when he tenderly took her into his arms and held her there. The night seemed to embrace them and there seemed to be some soothing power in the moon then. And at that moment, he felt his soul resurface and his heart re-emerge from the depths that had kept him in darkness for so long. For the first time in his life he felt overwhelmed. That was when the tears came. 

Heero Yuy cried. 

The guilt and the shame, the sadness, loneliness, the pain and suffering, everything, all of what he had suppressed and kept so deep inside overflowed within him. He guessed she knew he was crying because he had felt her arms tighten around him. They just stayed like that for hours it seemed, looking back he wished it would've lasted an eternity. 

Somehow they had fallen asleep, and he could still recall the warmth of the sun's rays and the feel of slender arms enfolding him. They had awakened renewed and somewhat awkward. She'd simply smiled at him and he'd returned it by looking at the suddenly interesting floor. 

At last their eyes met, and a beautiful silence seemed to hang in the air. 

"Thank you" were the only words that had come out of his mouth. He had taken one final look into those eyes then left. 

His eyes closed briefly at the memory. 

It was one he cherished with all his soul. From that moment on they had been bound so closely together. Before they had always felt connected in a sense, but after that it felt complete. Without her, it was like he was never whole. There was something missing with her gone. 

She was missing. 

…Because she was a part of him. With everything they'd been through, from when they first met on the beach to when he had torn her invitation in two… the time she had tried to protect him from Duo to the day she had asked him to dance… when he'd rescued her from Libra to… to this very instant. 

This exact moment, standing here in front of her door. 

Then he realized. 

He loved her. 

It was as simple and as complicated as that. 

He cared for her, knew her more than any person could. When she was happy he couldn't help but feel happy for her. When she was hurt it hurt him even more. 

And now what?  
What was he going to do? 

He was…  
He was going to tell her. 

But how? 

Just tell her. 

The night was warm, and he sighed as a cool breeze blew by. Focusing back on the door he took a deep breath… 

…then rang the doorbell… 

·:·. _Fin._.·:· 

**Author's Note:** This is the sequel to "In The Shadows." There won't be a follow up to this; this is it. Comments and constructive criticism appreciated. 

Gundam Wing and its characters © Bandai, Sunrise, and the Sotsu Agency


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